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RESCUE DOGS62

Southern California
Articles Posted: 25  Links Seeded: 2389
Member Since: 9/2008  Last Seen: 5/20/2012

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10 Signs You're Dating A Sociopath

Seeded on Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:02 PM EDT
Read ArticleArticle Source: Your tango
not-news, dating, relationships, marriage, psychology, psychiatry, sociopaths, amoral
Seeded by rescue dogs62
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We all want to be loved, don't we?

Well, no. There are people in the world who don't care about love. They don't even know what love is. But they do care about power, control and sex.

 Sociopaths know exactly what they are doing, and most of them never kill anyone. But they are social predators, who exploit just about everyone they meet. They have no heart, no conscience and no remorse.

 While they're trying to hook you, they are extremely attentive. They shower you with flattery and what appears to be affection. But they have an agenda. You have something that they want—perhaps money, sex, business connections or a place to live. Sociopath will keep pouring it on until they convince you give it to them.

1. Charisma and charm. They're smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.

2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.

3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.

4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they loveyou; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.

5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.

6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they'd be better off telling the truth

7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.

8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you're their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.

9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.

10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.

 

 

 

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  • Public Discussion (40)
rescue dogs62

One or two traits don't mean much, but if you see most or all of them, he or she might be a sociopath.

Gals,

Ever had one of these in your life....or maybe close, but you got out quick?

  • 2 votes
Reply#1 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:03 PM EDT
usa1

I know this article is geared to male sociopaths, though with the exception of the high testosterone levels these 10 signs reminded me of my ex-wife.

Very true and good article.

  • 5 votes
#1.1 - Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:45 AM EDT
rescue dogs62

usa1

with the exception of the high testosterone levels these 10 signs reminded me of my ex-wife.

Then be glad you're free of her.

  • 3 votes
#1.2 - Sun Jul 24, 2011 1:06 AM EDT
usa1

Actually found out the cause was her being bipolar , and would have remained married but she refused medication.and took me almost 15 years before I remarried, very leery afterwards to get into any long term relationship.

articles like this are great, for the reason they are factual, and hopefully someone as myself was in the past will try to follow their heart though not let their heart blind them from tell tale signs of future heart breaks. sometimes a person can be blinded the charisma, beauty and fantasy tales and not see or want to see the obvious. This often causes self blame, self evaluation, and self doubt, when the relationship starts going sour. No one wants to believe the person they were able to fall in love with is the fault so not only do these sociopaths create an automatic alibi for their actions, but they also have the person that loves them casting doubts not on the relationship but on them selves and the people around them (friends and family).

  • 4 votes
#1.3 - Sun Jul 24, 2011 1:56 AM EDT
rescue dogs62

Usa1,

but they also have the person that loves them casting doubts not on the relationship but on them selves and the people around them (friends and family).

Thanks for sharing that. You are so correct. When you've been in that type of relationship it can take a lot to be willing to trust again.

  • 2 votes
#1.4 - Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:02 AM EDT
cricket33

An exact description of my ex......

  • 1 vote
#1.5 - Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:36 AM EDT
rescue dogs62

Cricket,

Fortunately he's you "ex"

  • 1 vote
#1.6 - Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:46 PM EDT
Reply
etva

Two words: focused intensity! (in every aspect of their lives)

  • 1 vote
Reply#2 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 2:09 PM EDT
rescue dogs62

Evta,

Yep, Could be...

I had one in my life when I was quite young, and didn't even realize it until I read the list and pondered it a little.....maybe 1 1/2 :)

  • 1 vote
Reply#3 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 2:13 PM EDT
Dale95

Oh Nooooh! To one degree or another, I've seen most of those traits in just about everybody in politics, the business world, or the social scenes. They’re every where, they're everywhere.

  • 2 votes
Reply#4 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 3:02 PM EDT
rescue dogs62

Dale95,

Your absolutely right, and the reason we don't recognize them, is that we expect some wild raving lunatic serial killer, not the sexy, charmer with a huge ego.

  • 1 vote
Reply#5 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 3:22 PM EDT
Dale95

And they seem so down to Earth, and friendly too. They're the Guys and Gals next door, and Eee-gads, I think I even have some of those traits. Yikes!!!

  • 3 votes
#5.1 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 3:32 PM EDT
Reply
rescue dogs62

Dale95,

Not to worry, anyone who says "Yikes" can't be a sociopath. : ^ }

  • 1 vote
Reply#6 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 3:54 PM EDT
IndependentAmerican2892850

Interesting, voted up.

  • 1 vote
Reply#7 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 5:17 PM EDT
rescue dogs62

Thanks, Independent

  • 1 vote
Reply#8 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 6:31 PM EDT
sisboom56

It is so much easier to be alone!

  • 2 votes
Reply#9 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:52 PM EDT
Baron von Steuben

But being alone is lonely.

  • 1 vote
#9.1 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:26 PM EDT
Dale95

Not with a good dog it ain't!!!

  • 3 votes
#9.2 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:54 PM EDT
Dale95

Edit: Revise the above comment (9.2) to reflect true accuracy.

With a good dog as a companion, not just as a pet, life is never lonely or dull.

  • 2 votes
#9.3 - Wed Jul 27, 2011 6:45 AM EDT
naughtynumbernine

...yeah...I knew that's what you meant. *puts peanut butter back into the cupboard*

  • 1 vote
#9.4 - Wed Jul 27, 2011 7:15 AM EDT
rescue dogs62

ROTFL......

  • 1 vote
#9.5 - Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:13 PM EDT
Reply
rescue dogs62

sisboom56,

I tend to agree....my cat agrees also : ^ )

  • 3 votes
Reply#10 - Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:55 PM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Thank god I'm an uncharasmatic, self loathing, disinterested guy who on the hotness scale of 1-10 consistently registers a "meh".

Eat your hearts out ladies, I'm taken.

  • 2 votes
Reply#11 - Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:28 AM EDT
Baron von Steuben

Your a "meh"? I aspire to "meh", but I make a lot of money :)

  • 2 votes
#11.1 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:26 PM EDT
Reply
rescue dogs62

Naughty,

Eat your hearts out ladies, I'm taken.

Whine, my heart is broken.....but hats off to the lady.,,,I think she probably snagged a good one, even if he's "not in touch with his feelings."

  • 1 vote
Reply#12 - Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:33 AM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Thanks RD. I fooled her into thinking that she snagged a good one too ; )

  • 2 votes
#12.1 - Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:44 AM EDT
Reply
Dowser

I wish I could have read this about 35 years ago, before I married my first husband...

Oh well, live and learn!

  • 2 votes
Reply#13 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 6:22 AM EDT
rescue dogs62

Dowser,

Better late than never.....fortunately he's your "first husband" and not your last. : ^ )

  • 2 votes
Reply#14 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:25 AM EDT
Dowser

Yep!!! ;-)

  • 2 votes
#14.1 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:15 AM EDT
Reply
Baron von Steuben

It's a good thing that I'm not a sociopath. In fact, with my unwavering grace and towering intellect I may just be the greatest man that has ever lived.

  • 3 votes
Reply#15 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:27 PM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Not to mention your unsurpassed humility.

  • 3 votes
#15.1 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:53 PM EDT
Baron von Steuben

Indeed. How very perceptive of you to notice the magnificence of my unsurpassed humility.

  • 3 votes
#15.2 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:55 PM EDT
Dowser

LOL, Baron, but being married to one is no joke, I can tell you!

  • 1 vote
#15.3 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:26 PM EDT
Reply
rescue dogs62

Baron,

But being alone is lonely

Awwwwwww,

Indeed. How very perceptive of you to notice the magnificence of my unsurpassed humility

Could there be a correlation here?

Anyway, if you'd get out of your office once in awhile, you'd have more company....want me to find a dog for you?

I offered to let you help me with my floors....I would have given you company : ^ )

  • 3 votes
Reply#16 - Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:08 PM EDT
Baron von Steuben

Could there be a correlation here?

Hhhhmmmm. . . so what your saying is I need to make sure women are fully aware of my incredible splendor, sagely wisdom, and towering intellect by casting off some of my unsurpassed humility? Okay then.

I offered to let you help me with my floors....I would have given you company : ^ )

And I would have been there in a heartbeat, but I was at the office :(

  • 3 votes
#16.1 - Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:31 AM EDT
Reply
Carol-4076149

Dear RescueDogs62,

When i read your words 'Ever had one of these in your life but got out quick?' Ohhhh dear Lord...yes, i was the targeted prey of one that had most of the traits of the check list. Following the entanglement with this nefarious human automaton taxon, i join the ranks of those who are now rendered bankrupt, in foreclosure, emotionally and spiritually 'dead'....and wondering what the hell happened. I am not a flounding teen-aged girl....but a fairly intelligent, professional, middle-aged married woman. But the intense manipulative grip of the psychopathic phenomenon knows no bounds.

Your posts are all wise and intelligent concerning this treacherous area...and thanks for the humor too!!

  • 1 vote
Reply#17 - Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:19 AM EDT
rescue dogs62

Carol-407,

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. Are you in foreclosure because of him?

You're correct about them being so intense, and so manipulative. So charismatic in everyway.

I was with one when I was about 20, and I was literally swept off my feet....as was my mother, my boss, etc. It took me almost a year to get out from under his grip.

He went on to split up the marriage, and then married a well known psychotherapist. They published a book together and even, as well as I remember, were on T.V. together....and he would STILL contact me, and try to get together.

You CAN heal emotionally and spiritually heal and move on, I guarantee it. Sometimes having a therapist or even a pastor to talk to can help. I wish you the best my friend.

    Reply#18 - Sun Sep 11, 2011 12:46 PM EDT
    Carol-4076149

    Hi Dear RescueDogs and thank you for your kind and supportive words. Because no one else would ever believe what we have been through and that there are really 'people' on this planet capable of such pernicious behavior, it is more than comforting to be able to reveal our unbelievable stories to others who do understand.

    Yes dear, thanks to my barbedwire-like mesmerism by this man, i couldn't wait to give him all my monies, even to the point of being oblivious to the danger i was causing my financial situation. I refinanced my home twice to give him that money, plus cleaned out my 401K to give him....and i know you will understand when i tell you that at that time i truly wished that i had even more to give him. And this was a man who of course managed to keep his true whereabouts, address and even real name a secret from me. When i employed detectives to help discover anything about him, naturally there was nothing concrete on him. Instead of these things being huge red flags to me, he of course had me hooked on so many levels, that it was not even in the realm of my thinking to run as fast as i could. Instead, you won't be the least surprised that not only did i not leave him, the 'relationship' only ended because he discarded me....assesment phase/manipulation phase/discard phase.

    One thing the detectives did discover is that he is not really a veterinarian. He is working as a vet in a top vet hospital in the tri-state area. At the end i tried to 'warn' the owners of the hospital, but again, as you no doubt know, we don't know what vilification is until we have been vilified by a psychopath...so he had already painted me the abuser and i was not permitted into the hospital!

    Thank you for your thoughtful comments that there is help and hope for emotional and spiritual healing, dear. I must tell you that through this hellish nightmare i saw a dozen mental health professionals...sadly i came to learn that they are not as aware as we now are about psychopathy. My goodness, i will add your incredible story of how your psychopath managed to marry the psychotherapist...publish a book together (no doubt on the continuum of narcissism/psychopathy and how to win friends and influence people!)...i will add your story to my long repetoire of truly unbelievable stories of what these beings are capable of doing...no one would believe us!

    I was going to tell you that following the great disappointment in realizing i was not going to find any help in the mental health field, sans their being educated in the field of psychopathy...by the grace of God i came upon Sandra Brown ('Woman Who Love Psychopaths' author) and flew to her in NC and thanks to a 3-day intensive with her, the veil was lifted and i was healed of the machinations of that truly evil predator.

    Sadly tho' by that point, i had lost all of my life savings and could no longer afford my home as due to the two refinances to give him those proceeds, i could no longer afford the mortgage. But dear, as Sandy said to me 'considering he has all but one of the traits (hasn't murdered)...just be grateful that he wasn't the murdering kind'. I am grateful to God that i did survive what is truly one of the most disasterous things a person can encounter.

    May i ask you...you mentioned that 'he went on to split up the marriage...was that your marriage to him, dear? And also on another thought, you are 'rescuedogs'...i tried to sign in on newsvine as 'animalrescue' but i guess i didn't do that correctly...i too used to do animal rescue for years...and had many animals for years....now that i am losing the house i have had to make painful decisions about the animals. I rescued the old old old guys...17, 18, 19 and older....no one wants the old ones...so you can imagine the painful choices i have had to make. This has been as painful if not more to me than the loss of the house. And this evil person with no caring or concern that this is what it would all come down to for me...for the sick old animals....and he a vet...ahah...or at least masquerading as a vet!

    It has helped me greatly to learn that there is a name for this affliction...that we are not just going insane! And as you have said we can 'heal and move on'....

    I too wish you the best dear friend...and thank you for the good works that you are doing both in educating others about this strange flowering of psychopathy on the planet....and the wonderful works you must be doing in dog rescue.

    With much love,

    Carol

      #18.1 - Sun Sep 11, 2011 1:45 PM EDT
      Reply
      rescue dogs62

      Thank you, Carol

      No fortunately at that time I wasn't married, and had no money to give. It was the therapist's marriage he broke up, and she was married to a well known and very wealthy man. I'm sure she took some wealth along with her.

      The truly awful thing is that he ended up "pastoring" a metaphysical church, and I'm sure some of the female congregation were taken in also.

      I'm so sorry for the choices you've had to make, but if your dogs were that elderly then be assured that you must have given much love and care to them. If it's any conciliation to you, there's a verse in the Bible that tells that our animals go to heaven. As with mine, when they had to be put to sleep, I whispered that my other dogs would be waiting to welcome them, and they could run and play with no infirmities.

      • 1 vote
      Reply#19 - Sun Sep 11, 2011 2:10 PM EDT
      Carol-4076149

      Dear ResueDogs....of course i am not the least surprised that he of course broke up the therapist's marriage...and that of course he went on to 'pastor' a metaphysical church...and yesssss no doubt there are many other women in the wake of his predations! This is what they do. And unless someone has had an exposure to what these people are truly capable of, no one can believe the stories that we tell! But once having been embroiled in an association with one, we can pretty much tell each others' stories...and we are never shocked at the extreme nature of what has occurred.

      Thank you so much for your kind words regarding the animals. Yes, that has been a nightmare. And i was determined that even tho' no one agreed with my decisions to release them to heaven...i was determined that they not go back to the cold concrete floor of the pounds they had been dumped in. I too thru the many years of animal rescue have whispered in the ears of the dear little ones at that final moment of release...just as you say you have done. Isn't it interesting too, dear, that the literature tells us that it is just that very kind-hearted and compassionate and empathetic nature that we possess (in our caring for the animals, for people) ...it is that very strong trait in us that then becomes the weakness that the predatory psychopath spots in us as his target....what lessons learned!!!

      Lots of good wishes to you...and hope we can stay in touch thru this forum. All happiness and joy to you,

      Carol

        Reply#20 - Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:55 AM EDT
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