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Visit rescue dogs62's column >>

RESCUE DOGS62

Southern California
Articles Posted: 25  Links Seeded: 2389
Member Since: 9/2008  Last Seen: 5/20/2012

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Al-Qaeda Claims U.S. Mass Transportation Infrastructure Must Drastically Improve Before Any Terrorist Attacks |

Seeded on Thu Aug 4, 2011 4:36 PM EDT
Read ArticleArticle Source: The Onion
politics, barack-obama, united-states, humor, satire, attacks, al-queda, international-airport, great-satan-american
Seeded by rescue dogs62
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In a 30-minute video released Thursday, al-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri criticized the mass transportation infrastructure of the United States, claiming significant repairs and upgrades would need to be implemented before the militant group would consider destroying any roads, bridges, or railways with terrorist attacks.

Reading from a prepared statement, al-Zawahiri blasted the U.S. government for its lack of foresight and admonished its leaders for failing to provide Americans with efficient and reliable modes of public transport to reduce traffic congestion, lower carbon emissions, improve air quality, and supply suitable targets for terrorists.

"The al-Qaeda network is fully prepared to continue the jihad against the American infidels by launching deadly attacks, but your outdated and rusting transportation infrastructure needs to be completely overhauled for those strikes even to be noticed," al-Zawahiri said. "We want to turn your bridges into rubble, but if we claimed credit for making them collapse, nobody would ever believe us."

The al-Qaeda commander confirmed his organization initially hoped to cripple travel in the United States by destroying its nationwide high-speed rail system, but had been shocked to discover no such thing exists

 

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  • Public Discussion (13)
MalfunktionDeleted
smallstuff

Hey let's make al-Zawahari Transportation Secretary. We build the road and bridges, he blows them up, we rebuild them. A perpetual WPA program for life!

Can you believe this guy criticizing the US government for not having things up to par so he can destroy them? HAHAHAHAHAHA! I must bein he early stages of Alzheimers!

Of course there is the other side of the coin, he may be telling us what he IS getting ready to do???

  • 4 votes
Reply#2 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:06 PM EDT
rescue dogs62

Smallstuff,

Of course there is the other side of the coin, he may be telling us what he IS getting ready to do???

Do do know this is from the Onion, right?

  • 2 votes
Reply#3 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:10 PM EDT
Gray Alan

Now that was funny!

  • 3 votes
Reply#4 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:16 PM EDT
Adler315

Ouch.

Shamed into submission by Onion al-Zawahiri.

  • 3 votes
Reply#5 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:19 PM EDT
Starseeker

Ha, we sure fooled him... the secret underground railroad is in full operation coast to coast. NY to LA in 4 hours. He will never be able to disrupt it since it was upgraded to be terrorist proof last year. It runs entirely from renewable energy and is free to all US citizens. Separate cargo and military tracks keep everything humming like clockwork all unseen by terrorist eyes.

    Reply#6 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:24 PM EDT
    rescue dogs62

    Starseekers.

    all unseen by terrorist eyes.

    all unseen by citizens eyes, also....must be for schlepping the politicians around with the FAA shutdown.

    • 1 vote
    #6.1 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:26 PM EDT
    Starseeker

    oh, I guess it was more secret than ... um never mind.

    hey... LOL ah just kidding folks there really isn't a secret underground railroad... at least not that you know of... or is there ...

    {only the onion knows}

    • 1 vote
    #6.2 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:37 PM EDT
    Reply
    WatcherInTheShadows

    OmGLoL!

    • 1 vote
    Reply#7 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:27 PM EDT
    rescue dogs62

    Who knew,

    al Zawahiri as our government's jobs program.

      Reply#8 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:28 PM EDT
      AmericaRepublic

      WTF...that's all I can say...lol

      • 1 vote
      Reply#9 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:32 PM EDT
      smallstuff

      Yeah I read that part but you just never know, al-Zawahari may have new material now.

        Reply#10 - Thu Aug 4, 2011 5:42 PM EDT
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