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You try to write a book on marriage and sex with your wife and next thing you know there are a lot of ants crashing your picnic.
We knew before we wrote the book that we’d catch a lot of flak, especially on the chapters dealing with sex. We also knew the criticism would come from every direction, as some people would think we went too far and others would think we didn’t go far enough.
But we wrote it anyway. Why? Simply put, we want to help marriages — and single people aspiring to marry — and we wanted to do so in a way that is practical, biblical and applicable to the reality of today’s culture.
The book identifies three ways people tend to view sex: as gross, as a god and as a gift.
Why Christians are criticizing my Christian marriage and sex book .
Seeded on Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:37 PM EST
Article Source: CNN- Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.
- Public Discussion (8)
Some people are very uncomfortable talking about sex, even with their spouses.
Many Christians, because of upbringing and past church experiences, view sex as gross and something that should not be talked about in public.
This a fairly pervasive problem, however the Bible doesn't teach that sex is gross, or dirty, etc. so it's the unhealthy puritanical attitudes about sex that have influenced Christianity to this way of thinking.
- 2 votes
#1 - Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:41 PM ESTI agree. I think the worldly treatment of sex has caused religion to backlash in completely the wrong direction. I recall my brother speaking of a sermon he attended where the pastor actually began with the question "how many of you here today are horny? Raise your hands." Not sure about whether kids were present or not, but I think you get the gist. We need more frank talk about what sex in the marriage really is and how it should be viewed. It seems obvious to me if sex were not something to be enjoyed thoroughly it wouldn't be so thoroughly pleasurable.
- 1 vote
They could have referred everyone to the "Song of Solomon" and avoided a lot of flack. But what they claim as the purpose of their book wasn't really the purpose.
- 2 votes
#2 - Tue Jan 24, 2012 2:37 PM ESTSkeptic,
What do you think the purpose was? I agree that they could have referred people to the Song of Solomon, but the response from Christians could either have been it's from the Old Testament written by someone who had a myriad of wives and concubines, but more accurately a metaphor of Christ's love of the church.
Solomon was talking about one woman. And yes, it could have been a metaphor. I think they used a discussion of sex as the means to make money and get some face time. That's blunt, but that's what I see. If a Christian is Bible-believing, that means the whole Bible. Too many conveniently pick and choose, ignoring some very basic precepts about how humans act. For instance, women are blamed for the demise of humankind because of the story about Eve. THAT is certainly a convenient selection and used in most churches. But what they don't tell everybody is, Adam had specific instructions that he didn't exactly convey to Eve accurately. He let her take the first bite of that metaphoric apple and then used her as his excuse to do the same.
Back to this article, they used their book as an excuse, too. :)
Skeptic,
I know this article isn't about biblical theology, but since its my seed ;)....it's referred to the sin of Adam,
Romans 5:12 Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world,and death through sin. and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned....
5:14 Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who had not sinned according to the likeness of the transgression Adam.
Having said that, we don't know whether Adam didn't convey the instructions correctly or rather Eve may have embellished it.
Is it just me or is it a little creepy for people to be asking "How does God want me to have sex?" I think it all just goes too far to define your sex life by how spiritually correct and fulfilling it is, not to mention taking the fun out of it.
Christians obviously aren't going to think it's ok to engage in things like swinging with other couples or pre-marital sex, but shouldn't it be pretty obvious that whatever two consenting spouses (in the case of this book's context, anyway) should be able to decide whatever they want to do?
God has a plan for sex: that it is to be enjoyed between one man and one woman in the context of marriage. This means that there are certain types of sex acts that abuse and misuse the good gift of sex that God gave, and that we are to honor God with our bodies by living our sexual lives in a way that glorifies him and honors the scriptures.
So are they saying there are certain things a married couple shouldn't be doing with each other because it doesn't "glorify God"?
- 1 vote
#3 - Tue Jan 24, 2012 3:20 PM ESTMsKat,
I don't think so. What I think they're saying is within a marriage it's okay to experiment and explore their sexuality. That sex in marriage doesn't have to be just the missionary position, or just to have children.
So are they saying there are certain things a married couple shouldn't be doing with each other because it doesn't "glorify God"?
I think what they're trying to convey is that within marriage, actually "pleasuring each other" as long as it's not abusive or taking advantage of the other, does glorify God.
My guess that many conservative Christians, particular those who are older, wouldn't consider oral sex, or if they indulged, would consider that they had sinned.
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