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Marty and Roscoe are only fictional characters. But they mirror the challenges that are facing real families and real classrooms all around the country and beyond. As author of Gender Born, Gender Made: Raising Healthy Gender-Nonconforming Children, and as a psychologist who spends much of my time working with children who just don't fit inside neat, binary gender boxes, I applaud Showtime and the writers of House of Lies for bringing a new perspective on children's gender in a compelling and sympathetic way, and one that hopefully opens up the question: who should get to be Sandra Dee?
I cannot stress enough that sexual identity and gender identity are not the same; they are two separate tracks. If it helps, jumping ahead to adulthood, gender is who we go to bed as, whereas sexuality is who we go to bed with. It is so important that we start getting that straight (no pun intended). If we don't, we'll miss seeing our children for who they are and hearing what they're trying to tell us
: Look at Him, He's Sandra Dee: What Roscoe Can Teach Us About Gender-Nonconforming Children
Article Source: The Huffington Post
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- Public Discussion (8)
The best thing we can do about our own questioning is to use it to relearn gender and come to know that parents have very little control over their children's gender identity but tremendous influence over their children's gender health.
And your thoughts, or opinions please?
Respect others
#1 - Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:45 PM ESTAs a small child, my little boy adored dressing up in heels, feathers, etc. He loved to 'play' with my glittery costume jewelry, makeup, and all kinds of scarves, wigs, and head-dresses. So I let him. Then, he still loved to dress up, but in more boy-like costumes, like pirates, gypsies, etc. I think he was drawn to the fact that all those things are interesting and colorful, and he had a good imagination.
He's now 13, and has a 'girl friend', and wouldn't dream of wearing anything girly girl. But, maybe he'll want to get into acting in plays and things, which is fine by me. He wants to be an Egyptologist, and I think it is because he loves the gold and jewelry. He's a good kid.
I don't think it matters when they're young, how they dress up and play. I didn't want to force him into some mold, figuring he would find his own way. So far, he has. :-)
#2 - Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:08 PM ESTDowser,
I think it's wonderful that you allowed him the freedom to explore all that he wanted to, rather than shaming him when he wanted to play dress up. It freaks so many out when either a little girl wants to play with trucks, or cowboy, or little boys with dolls or kitchen toys. Egyptologist sounds great!
#3 - Thu Jan 26, 2012 3:54 PM ESTVoted high up the vine. Agrees with and supports Dowser's approach to this. E.
#4 - Thu Jan 26, 2012 4:07 PM ESTThanks, Enoch.
I think the article is important also, but title may not bring much attention.
#5 - Thu Jan 26, 2012 4:12 PM ESTCan I say something else? As a girl, I was allowed to have 3 little metal police cars. (Like matchbox cars, but cheaper.) When we moved, they 'disappeared', somehow. I loved them and wanted more, but, by golly, because I was a girl, I wasn't allowed. What could it have hurt for me to have some matchbox cars when I was little? But, that was the wisdom of the time. And I think it was wrong then, nor have I allowed my mother to dictate to Peep what he can and cannot do.
I think we need to let kids just 'be'. I hope that Peep will do good things with his life-- whatever he may choose, I hope that he can make a difference to other people, and to be a positive force on the world around him. And be happy.
Dowser,
You can all say whatever you want. Your input is always valuable. I agree about the matchbox cars which I have very fond memories of......of course they were my brothers. ;P
I was a tree climber when I was little girl, but I was told that wasn't lady-like...I was to sit quietly, knees together, feet crossed at the ankles.....and I wasn't even
Catholic, lol.......I even wore white gloves on Sunday to church...wow, such memories...
By the way, I love the name Peep....but do you call him in front of his friends?
- 1 vote
#6 - Thu Jan 26, 2012 5:32 PM ESTYep, I understand. I always wanted to climb trees, but ours were too big! The bottom branches were probably 15' off the ground, and I wasn't that brave, by any means!
Oh no! I call him by his name, but not here on the Vine, or anywhere on line... Peep is just his nickname, and he doesn't mind at all, at least so far. ;-)
Nope, I just asked him, and he likes it-- it is sort of a pet name between us... :-)
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